Tuesday, March 07, 2006

We'll always have the Cineplex...


I remember back in the day I used to go watch movies alone. There were a few reasons for this. The main reason why I went to a movie theater alone was that my friends usually had no interest in the movies I wanted to see. I also enjoyed going alone because I could pick the time and place and not have to wait for anyone or buy their tickets or have to wait for them to give me my tickets. Those were good times. I would go at awkward times to empty theaters so I could avoid the sucky moviegoers. Now the only time I go to a movie theater is when I'm on a date.

These days, theaters just suck. Most of them are related to stupid people doing stupid things, or dumb managerial decisions ruining the movie experience. Pretty much every time I go to the theater I experience something that bothers me. Here are some of those things:

People related
Mobile phones - Oh the humanity! These little devices that have made life so much easier have wrecked such havoc on it. Theaters are naturally a prime victim of careless or uncaring patrons letting their phones ring, or even going as far as to take calls during the movie. Recently, I don't think I have been able to sit through a single movie without hearing a phone ring. I hate how this has become somewhat of a norm for the moviegoing experience. I have no solution for this. We need built in "private" communication devices implanted into our brain like in Ghost in the Shell.

Food - Popcorn and a soda I can stand, but occasionally there'll be some people who bring their entire lunch into the theater. This is often made up of fast food, and the greasy smell travels far and fast. Naturally, these uncaring people tend to be litterbugs as well, further destroying the theater experience. That's Hong Kong people for you man. Just have to save time and eat on the go.

Yapping - The oldest rule of moviegoing is, say it with me, "don't talk during the movie"! Some people still have trouble obeying that rule. I am so good at "shh"ing people. I can't give the longest "shhs". However, I will soon resort to popcorn throwing and flicking soda droplets which may result in a fist fight. Perhaps I should just call the attendant. Will that actually work?

Dumb Behavior - I'll keep this one short. From coming in late, to standing up too early, moviegoers do the dumbest things. 1) Come in early and get your money's worth! Added bonus: you won't annoy everyone else. 2) You know how movies show funny unused takes of the movie during the end credits like in Jackie Chan films? Well, some people like to watch them, but they stupidly watch them while standing. Why?

Theater related

Advertising - I recently read on Roger Ebert dot com about how a guy had to sit through 40 minutes of ads before the movie even started. How ridiculous is that? You pay what is slowly becoming a fortune for a movie ticket, and still have to sit through nearly an hour of ads. Thankfully, Hong Kong is not yet plagued with this epidemic that has already spread across America.

On a side note, the ad epidemic had spread to DVDs soon after DVDs were invented. I can't fathom having to sit through or fast forward through ads after having forked over $20 for a DVD that I now own. What about that stupid government warning that I can't even skip over? It almost makes me want to buy the pirated version so I don't have to watch through that stupid warning every single time.


Projector Bulbs - I have heard of and read about how cheap ass theaters purposely dim the projector bulb in hope that it will save them money by prolonging the life of the expensive bulb. This has already been proven to be a false theory, yet many theaters in the states stubbornly continue to do it. Not only are they being stupid, but they're also cheating the customer from a full flegged cinematic experience which the customer paid for. Unless you charge me less money and put up a sign that says "film will be poorly projected", please turn up the lights. Fortunately, this does not seem to be a problem in Hong Kong... I think.

What I do like about theaters in Hong Kong
Assigned seating is cool. It rewards people who plan early, and you don't have to sit in the theater for 30mins just to save your seat. I think having no assigned seating is a ploy used by US theaters to get people to watch the ads. People tend to behave a tad better in Hong Kong theaters, plus they're not allowed to own guns in case we get into a row over something trivial.

The Bottom Line
I'm not stepping into another theater until the next date night. When you add up the parking, meals, theater snacks, and time constraints, it is a much better deal to watch DVDs at home. Invest in a decent home theater system, you can have a private, comfortable film experience without all the yuck yuck involved in going to the movies in this day and age.

6 comments:

Justin said...

re: ahdont

I would love to continue to see movies on the "real" big screen, but it has become just too unenjoyable. I remember when I was a kid, I used to really love going to the movies. Then there were no mobile phones and people in general were more respectful. It is sad to realize that those days are gone.

Anonymous said...

watching a movie in hk or tw makes me feel like eating fast food. as soon as it says The End on the screen, most ppl would stand up, line up and get out quickly. i always wonder why these would not just slow down, take it easy, and perhaps enjoy the music afterwards.

this is one of the times i wish cell phones were never invented. don't know if there's any way to impose a ban. thus, seeing one every couple of months is probably enough.

CHEERS to Rachel Weisz in the Constant Gardener!

Anonymous said...

I do agree with Ahdont about the LOTR experience on a big screen. But for the most part I do prefer watching dvds at the comfort of my home theater. + wine and cheese.

Justin said...

re: honeyb

A certain brand of Asian people (ahem... Chinese) seem to always be in a hurry...

re: alex

Wine and cheese? What happend to Guinness and fries, or Tsing Tao and peanuts? I know you had a "Brokeback" experience in Hong Kong, but I didn't think it would take effect this quickly...

Ha ha ha, just kidding buddy.

Anonymous said...

Without assigned seats, the people may actually show up at the movie on time.

Justin said...

Re: anonymous

I find that even when there are no assigned seats, people still arrive late. At least with assigned seats, I don't have to suffer through 30mins of ads AND people blocking the opening credits.