Mandy said... Chinese people have a self concept of being "polite and modest". This is their national identity anyhow. I do think this rather ironic at times.
I have trouble knowing what to say when they say to me "Chinese people are more modest than westerners" (many Chinese I've spoken to feel Americans are "opinionated"). For Westerners, sharing ones personality, ones likes and dislikes, are a sign of friendship and trust/ a willingness to engage enthusiastically. To them it is seen as arrogance. Misunderstanding? Maybe.
I think they feel extremely fortunate to be, as they see it, of a more morally and culturally superior culture (I am reminded of this often).
Chinese tell me about the racist Americans that made black people sit at the back of the bus, then, in the same breath tell me they "don't like Indians because they are too dark". (BTW I am not American). There are different rules regarding what is PC and what is not. Perhaps some westerners share these kinds of prejudiced sentiments but they are sure as hell not going to voice this! This is an amusing point.
You have to be so hard and tough in China. I am far too much of a softy and friendly person I guess. People at markets manipulate and force one into situations one doesn't want to be. They do not take "No thank you" for an answer. I feel very uncomfortable with being cornered. In these setting the Chinese can be uncharacteristically confrontational. Wow. I avoid markets now as it is traumatic and I feel bullied (although maybe this IS a cultural misunderstanding on my part, I'm try to be diplomatic!)
People are guarded and they fight for their territory (spatially on trains etc but during bargaining too). I think it is related to the trauma of the revolution and the fact that there are toooo many people (upping competitive/grabbing mentality). The people are not very trusting- not just with westerners but with each other too.
The public behavior is not very refined to the Western eye and the Chinese are FIERCELY practical people (hence the supposedly rough tone during speaking- not a true indication of attitude). When I think of things from this perspective I don't really take offense to being pushed out the way by charging people rushing to the seat on the subway.(-:
While I DO want to tear my hair out sometimes, I have developed affection for a lot of people here in China!
Keep engagements light-hearted is the key here I think.SEP 9, 2009 1:15:00 AM
Wow! This piece was written over three years ago and I still manage to get a response about once a year. At first I thought the title might be a little too strong, but now I'm kind of glad I used it. Perhaps I have a new found respect for the word, suck.
I first wrote this piece out of anger and disgust. I was unhappy that my own people were such an embarrassment. It's been three years and I admit that I haven't mellowed out one bit. Something has changed though. Instead of getting angry, I'm getting even. Instead of avoiding people or trying to snake my way through crowds, I find myself bumping people and giving a helpful nudge now and then. Rest assured, not everyone gets this type of treatment. I never push women or children, and I only bump the people who are doing something blatantly wrong like cutting the cue, or blocking the way for no reason. Hey, I even forgive those people with lazy feet who are unable to walk in a straight line.
In these three years I've seen worse examples than my plane debacle. There is a lot of wrong in China, and there are plenty of Chinese wrongdoers. At the same time there are some examples of good, and despite the title I used I think it is obvious that not all Chinese people suck.
Anyhow, followers of this blog will realize that I have moved on from this subject, as there are much bigger fish to fry. Bad manners are the least of China's worries. Defeating corruption and taking care of the underprivileged Chinese citizen takes precedence.
Thank you for your insightful comment.
1 comment:
Wonderful read.
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