What the truck is this?

Hey now! Many of my friends know that I have a sport wagon fetish... errr... uhh... obsession. I am obsessed with a car that can haul arse while at the same time haul groceries, hockey equipment, lawnmower, you're wife's luggage, etc. So wagons that go fast really float my boat. Audi RS4s, and STi wagons have long sparked my interest, even the Volvo V50 has caught my eye many times over. Forget the Ferraris and Lambos. They are fast, but their trunks won't fit my monster 460cc driver, and what can I possibly buy at the supermarket with a Lambo, two apples?

So when I heard the Mitsubishi Evolution IX had a wagon version, I was quite excited. Hmm... well... after some quick clicking and tapping, I had found it. All I can say is... well... THIS IS ONE UGLY PIECE OF SHITE! Great work Mitsubishi design team! You've managed to make another awesome sedan into another awesome yet ugly wagon (see: Mitsubishi Galant VR-4 Legnum).

The front end is smooth, sporty, and aggressive. The Evolution VI and earlier had always looked boxy and squarish. Perfect for robots or boys who haven't reached puberty yet. Evo VII, VIII, and IX have rid themselves of the boyish look with a smoother, meaner look in the front. Getting rid of those ugly, attention-whore, fog lamps was a great idea afterall. Unfortunately, the rear end gives it a completely different persona. The rear is too high, too square, and should slant downwards like the STi does. It just says grocery-getter all over it. That wouldn't have been an issue if the front weren't so aggressive, and if this car was named Mitsubishi Lancer Emporium IX. It gives one the feeling that two different people designed the look of this car.

Other than getting brutally beaten from behind with the ugly stick, the LanEvo IX wagon is still a superb performer on the road. It still has all the traits that the Evolution has given us in years past making it one of the best if not the best driver's car for under US$50K. I won't bore you with the details of the Evo's performance, since it is all over the internet. My friend Sergey has a nice little site that will point you in the right direction.

Sporty in the front. The IX now combines turbo omph with variable valve timing. Sweet!

You start to feel your stomach churn getting a glimpse of the rear with this side view...

The car with an ugly arse that can haul arse. Eww...