Re: knockoutgirl
You are absolutely right about you comparing yourself with your peers and feeling that your life sucks, but what is stopping you from comparing yourself to people less fortunate than you? There are soooo many of them, that I think you should be able to find a few that you can relate to, and compare yourself to.
The thing is... You have to think of it from a different angle. Don't look at things from the bottom. Instead look at things from the top. Why? Well, cause it is more realistic. What's unrealistic is that Forbes article and those rich dudes. They are the top 1% of the world's population in terms of wealth. I would actually believe it if they all said they can't relate to everyone else. That's just because they are at an ultra extreme end of the scale. They're also way too narrow minded to be able to relate to something as trivial (to them) as poverty.
The world is huge and there are so many people that surround us who are less fortunate than us. I am by no means at the top of the food chain, relatively speaking. However, all I have to do is take a peek out of my social circle and I discover that pretty much everyone around me is less fortunate than I am. It is pretty easy for me, since I deal with these people everyday. I've mentioned the cleaning lady, but there's also all my colleagues, the people that sell me breakfast and lunch, those guys who work at McDonald's, the "UPS" dude (its not really UPS), and more...
We have to broaden our views to see reality. I'm surprised that someone so concerned about the world isn't able to see the world as it is. I understand how and why you feel like your life sucks, but I just don't agree.
The "human nature" you describe is a type of "nature" created by people with wealth aka people like us. We think that it is only normal for one to be jealous of thy neighbor and strive for even more success. Yes, this is most prevalent in American culture: the illusive American Dream, the struggle to move up the social ladder, etc. However, I believe that it is NOT human nature to be this way. If you look at other cultures, you'll see that "being content" is a big part of life.
People who can't see out of their own circle of life are either being narrow-minded, or selfish (which isn't necessarily a bad thing). Broaden your horizons, and you might just feel better about yourself in the process.
16 comments:
wow, dude, take a chili pill. I know You are trying to lighten us up.
You know, different people think differently. yes, pain or just "BAD DAYS" comes with the package called Life, and We do get used to being comfortable in our A/C rooms, Flat screen TVs, Small size Computers, cars, and Shaken- not- stir Martines. BUt that doesn't stop us from Comparing the with others... or Even compare Ourselves to the Better days we had. I think that is normal. Bitching about a shitty day or period/stuff to Friends is a wonderful thing, even at the receiving end~ cos you trust your friends are willing to listen/ let you unload your shit. ( even for the silliest reason.)
Anyways, I think Most of us KNOW that we are a lot better off then others, but, hey, we are not depressed to a point about to cut our own throat with a rusty Knife.
No worries Brother, I feel your care.
In short: I can't be content. Not that I won't or I shouldn't, I just can't.
I firmly believe our attitude IS NOT A CHOICE, some ppl are just optimistic while others are pessimistic. That would be personality. Why can't we say life's unfair because our brains are different and call it a day? In fact, something like this can be controlled by medication, so you might as well tell me to go on Prozac.
MARK MY WORDS: I would if I could. I've reached the point where trying to convince myself that I should be content is MORE strenuous than just accepting dissatisfaction. If I have to beat myself up every time I think my life sucks (which I've tried), then my life really WOULD suck. See? Sometimes it is easier to strive and want more, although I hope to one day get over it.
There are too many points that can be made, and this is not a black-or-white issue. It's great that you have reached enlightenment, but for myself I see it as being one big gray area.
I also strongly think ppl can't make a sweeping statement that someone's life is better or worse than others. My friend has been practically confined to a bed for 6 years due to an illness, feeling weak and sickly, unable to finish her degree, unable to go to work, travel, or hang out with friends at the age of 24. Her parents are unsupportive (and she thinks they caused her illness), she is depressed. Does her life suck? OF COURSE. However, let me make a point that she comes from a rich family and has a roof over her head, food, entertainment, etc., which is much better than an impoverished girl in Ethiopia, but DOES HER LIFE STILL SUCK? How can you say it doesn't TOTALLY suck?
So really, if I had a mental illness that makes me suicidal, would my life still rank in the 95th percentile or can it drop to the 25th percentile? GRAY AREA.
Re: broadening horizens. It is exactly my awareness of "the sorry state of the world" (my broad horizons) that makes it more sensible to see things "bottom up"; everyone's life sucks, just to different degrees. Why compare at all?
THAN AGAIN, I CAN ALWAYS BLAME MR. BLOCK FOR TELLING ME I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH BY NOT GIVING ME AN "A" IN ENGLISH.
Have to add
It is absurd to think I can't see the world for what it is (sucky), or that I have a narrow mind, just because I'm not a fan of contentment, as I might say the same about you for being naive enough to believe we should revel in our good fortune. On the contrary, I find it most realistic and helpful to sulk with the rest of the world.
Why can't we (and the rest of the world, about all issues) just agree to disagree???
Re: arthur
I will head promptly to my local spice shop to see if they have any chili pills.
I can understand how people like to complain about stuff. It is natural for us to do that. Sometimes people take it too far. They "kick it up a notch", and I was sick and tired of hearing about it. People appeared to be ungrateful for what the world has given them. I just didn't understand. It is good to have heard a little about it.
Re: knockoutgirl
If that's the way you put it, then there is really no solution. There is also likely no cure for pessimism. But I believe that doesn't necessarily dictate your outlook. Hmm... I am optimistic and pessimistic about various things. For example, I am pessimistic about the environment. The majority of people in this world ultimately do not care enough about the environment, and the human race will eventually perish because of that. Though it is a grim view, I also believe that it could be worse. At least there are some people who care, and there are some people who recycle, reuse, and drive a Prius.
Well, I never said I was content, and I think it is pretty hard for anyone to be completely satisfied in life (though such people do exist) for us materialists. I was taught that health and loved ones are the most important things in life. I have both, so I really don't find any reason to feel that my life sucks. I work hard and strive to accumulate wealth so I can have nice things, but I don't feel shitty if I get $6 instead of $12. Money and the stuff it buys are important, but it is only worth as much as you want it to be worth. Perhaps there are non-monetary reasons why you feel your life sucks. Then try to instead value the things you have.
There are always two sides to every issue. The key to being happy is to look towards the good side. Your friend is a perfect example: she has a terrible illness, but she has many things that others do not. It is important for someone like her to focus on the things that she has, and the things that she CAN do rather than the limitations and misfortunes caused by her illness. You may ask how it is even possible to NOT focus on her illness since it is such a huge part of her everyday life. I guess if you choose to dwell on the negatives, you'll never make it to the positives. I also recommend the Oscar nominated documentary, Murderball; it is a doc about quadriplegic rugby. Losing the use of your legs and some of your arms is by all means depressing, but just look at how these guys made the best of what they had and are now happy. They even go so far as to say they wouldn't have it any different. It is very difficult for anyone (disability or not) to not want to live life to the fullest after seeing this movie.
Anyways, back to your friend... her life is only gray area if you or her chooses for it to be gray area. I'm not her, and I can't possibly fathom her situation, so all I can suggest is to please do not look at her life as being a gray area. Instead focus on the positive area.
Everyone's life only sucks to a certain degree, and they all suck at different levels. That is why they are worth comparing. Again, you're focusing on the negatives due to your pessimistic nature. It was also your choice to focus on the "non-A" from Mr. Block rather than the countless praise and respect he gave you inside and outside the classroom. I'm not sure if that was a joke, but Mr. Block thought super highly of you. You have to be blind or not paying attention to have missed that.
Perhaps "content" was not the right word to use. It was merely to highlight that in some countries other than America, people actually don't look to climb the social ladder as much. My point was not to revel in our good fortune, but rather to show some appreciation for it.
Did I overreact when I heard the phrase "life sucks"? Well, I guess I was just tired of seeing it repeated so often from so many people. My first reaction to "life sucks" was really, "how dare you".
I meant to say I'm not sure if your blaming of Mr. Block was a joke, not speculating whether Mr. Block's praise was a joke.
If by "chili pill" arthur means "Prozac," yes please for me.
Um, Type A's/control freaks/middle children see the bad and have to make it better. And, of course, what COULD've been better. Yoga doesn't help. It is the nature of the beast.
We will now acknowledge everyone's inherent differences. Uh huh. Okay. I'm gonna stop commenting now.
Damn~ Chill!
"kick it up a notch" you say.Hum. I really hope that You don't feel that about me.
I just want to say that I am once again on Knockout girl side.
Yes, Please Agree to disagree. I also I don't think I have a narrow mind or even 偏激. At least not as much as some of the radio personel.
I mean, are you really That Fed up with people around you saying "life sucks??" How about the Social workers man? (Actually, a lot of the social workers I know are Drugies.)
BTW< They do Have chili Pills.
Knockout girl, NO Prozac for you. It is A "Once you pop, you can't stop" kindda drugs.
Re: arthur
I'm actually just fed up with people who casually throw around the S-Bomb, and attach "Life" in front of it. Especially when just maybe their life actually doesn't really suck that bad. Social workers deal with a lot of people who are a lot worse off than me, and maybe their lives do suck real bad. Maybe they have earned the right to say that their life sucks. But you might be surprised how many of those people are optimistic in their quest to gain wealth and improve their lives. In other words, they don't bitch like we do.
The point isn't what I like or what I am annoyed by or whether we agree or disagree. It is [drum roll] that if people employ the method of thinking positive a little more, they may be able to sidestep a lot of stress and agony.
exactly~ So, should you be fed up with it cos there are Ppl who listen to that shit over and over again for work.
I think the answer is yes bah... (trying to make some sense out of it.) Positive thinking can sometimes feel like "Telling a guy dying of thirst how good an Ice Cold can of Coke taste like." Nono, that is No right.
I always feel that This Kind of positive thinking can only be genrate from Within, not forced feed/ by others. If Not, it would just be another Negative reenforcement. ( or it is still an positive reenforcement, Cos You do get a outcome) hum...
No, I am not suprise of how optimistic some people are in their quest to gain wealth and improve their lives. I think different stuff works for differnt ppl. So what? I don't get a Damn how good they feel, I care about how Bad I feel now.
Oh well, I usually forget about how Bad things are after 8 hours of sleep. Oh well, Might be I should try ZEN GOLF.
I think having a "discussion" is great.. as long as It doesn't get too personal.
Wow I never have seen this much traffic on this site.
Well all I can say is that life is like a roller coaster there are always going to be up and down, high and low. I understand the point that you are trying to get across. But try putting yourself in the cleaning lady's position; does she think her life sucks? If she thinks what she is doing is normal and that is her way of life then we can't really compare ourselves to her.
Use myself as an example, my family moved to US 16 years ago with very little money. In my college days and early 20s I have friends that their parents would buy them brand new Mercedes, Lexus, Acura just to commute between school and their apartment. In the mean while I would work 2-3 jobs just to support with my spending money and school expenses. But I was perfectly happy because I know that was the way of my life. I had to work for what I need and if I’m lucky I might be able to get what I want.
Bottom line is as long as we value the things that we have and live life to the fullest. I think that is all it really matters. Beginning able to understand and realize what is out there in the world is really the prime key to make someone a better person.
Re: arthur
I think you've got it a little mixed up. To think positive would be to tell a guy who's dying of thirst, "well, at least you're not hungry". Negative thinking would be to tell him that he could be better off by having an ice cold Coke. That example is extreme, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to get across. By telling someone that they could be better off is basically the same thing as saying, "their life sucks".
You are correct. Positive thinking works best when generated from within, and that's what I'm asking people to do. I'm not telling them to feel better; I'm asking them to think about it and then decide whether they still feel that bad.
Like I said, people too often, too casually throw around expressions of grief. I just don't think that all those complaints have merit. If you feel bad, that can't be helped. All I ask is to really give it some thought and then decide if you're really feeling bad.
Also, how my targets of comparison (i.e. the UPS guy) feel about their life has nothing to do with me. This is pretty much a selfish exercise. If I can feel better about my life by thinking that I'm better off than UPS guy, then I win. It does not matter whether UPS guy is content with his life or not.
Again, the point is to feel happy through a thought process, and not to see who is better off (though that may be part of the process).
Re: alex
Wow I never have seen this much traffic on this site.
Ha... ha... ha... very funny Alex.
This part was actually meant for you: "Also, how my targets of comparison (i.e. the UPS guy) feel about their life has nothing to do with me. This is pretty much a selfish exercise. If I can feel better about my life by thinking that I'm better off than UPS guy, then I win. It does not matter whether UPS guy is content with his life or not."
Naturally, you don't need to perform such an exercise if you're already content with what you're doing. I hope that people can stop to think a bit before deciding whether their life really sucks or not.
Like the comment I left in your blog: the guy who flipped his car was probably having a worse day than you. I sincerely hope that the comment DID make you feel better. I wasn't saying it in a condescending way like an old lady trying to inform you that you shouldn't feel like you had a bad day. It was an example of how you can brighten your day by realizing that it is A)not actually that bad, or B)could be worse.
Think about how my comment affected you. Did you get a laugh and feel better? Did you feel better because you realized that the car flipper was having a worse day than you? Its not a trick question. I'm just trying to get people to think.
Justin:
Actually, What I Trying to say about the "Coke" Thing is actually timing. And 大佬, 我鬼唔知咩, 但係真係好shit 嘛.
I mean, most of the " Shitty" situation can be solved like.. in a month or some short period of time. But hey, At least I don't think most of us are Cry babies.
Dying of thirst, the way to break it throught that thinking is to Solve the problem at hand. Give the guy a Can of Coke/ water rather then tell him/ her how much you really that much better then others. ( or just offer help... Sometimes it is a solid "thing" sometimes, it is an idea, sometimes just a comforting shoulder.)
Suggestions:
You can tell how NOT sucky you are Compare with the others, after/ during solving the problem or changing the feeling. Then that might enlighten the person a bit more...
Oh well, different shit works for Different ppl.
""If you feel bad, that can't be helped. All I ask is to really give it some thought and then decide if you're really feeling bad.""
I just Don't believe that. Oh well, me end commenting.
Iti s hard to type when you're actually working... HA HA
My general issue with life is not that it sucks, is that focusing on the present is near impossible for me.
I'm fully aware that there are those less fortunate. In fact, I've discovered a man blogging about his current state. Check it out: http://view-sidewalk.blogspot.com/
This blog puts my employment situation in perspective. I had periods of bitching and moaning that consumed my day, and made productivity non-existant. I feel fortunate to have a job in the technical field, considering off-shore outsourcing and a job market here that isn't exactly robust.
I'm fairly confident that this comment has little to do with the topic of discussion, so my apologies for that.
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