New Gym Characters

Okay, there really isn't much to say about the latest gym characters. They're pretty nice guys. Let's just say they are highly related to the following video.



Happy Friday.

New Gym Character: Smelly Guy (you knew this was coming)

(On a lighter note...)

Yup, that's right folks. Every gym has to have its "smelly guy". There's always a guy in the gym whom you have to wipe down the machine after he uses it. My gym is no different. The smelly guy here is a pretty tall Asian dude who wears glasses. He looks kind of dopey. I don't know much about him. I don't even know what machines he uses. The reason is that when he heads toward my general direction, I sprint for the basketball court to shoot some hoops instead. I put my whole workout on hold because of this guy. That's some awesome power. With great power comes great responsibility... this guy needs some deodorant (or does he?).

What could be the cause for his stench? Let's take a look:

• Shower? I don't think this is the issue. I've seen him in the locker room, and I know he takes a shower. Unfortunately, he smells just as bad after the shower.


• Deodorant? Don't think this is the reason either. The guy uses a pretty strong smelling chrysanthemum deodorant (don't ask), but it doesn't work. It just doesn't.


• Laundry? I think this is a possibility. If you don't wash your clothes, or you let bacteria set in, its hard to get them to smell so fresh and so clean again.

I guess some people just naturally smell bad. But wouldn't he want to fix this?

Where are the Mythbusters when you need them.

Gym Character Transform!

I'm sure you all remember the infamous idiot gym characters, OSG and her "trainer" friend. If not, just click on the link to find out.

Apparently, this trainer friend is a gym regular himself. Though OSG is nowhere to be seen, "trainer friend" is not flying solo. Along for the ride is his own female trainer. Together, they are another dynamic duo that raises havoc at the gym I go to.

Since "trainer friend" no longer shows up with OSG, it looks like a new nickname is in order. Due to a trait of his that I may have failed to mention in the past, this nickname can only belong to him and no one else. "Trainer friend" has made the transformation; he has successfully emerged from his cocoon, budding into the infamous, ever-dreaded... EXCESS TOWEL BOY!

Now how could he possibly have earned this nickname? Perhaps you've already cut to the chase, and you're asking yourself how many towels did he have to take to earn this nickname? Here's the thing: Excess Towel Boy (ETB for short) has been seen carrying a stack of ten towels on his way to the gym. These towels are provided by the gym, mind you, so naturally he feels free to take as many as he can hold.

Once he starts working out, its like a tornado came through. Towels are everywhere! I have to flick away his towels in order to pick up equipment or barbells. I always know when ETB comes alone because I can see that the towel tornado has hit town. When he's with his trainer, the poor girl has to pick up his sweaty piles of cotton when he's finished.

Perhaps one day I'll grab all the dirty towels in the bin, and dump them where he normally works out. That will either send him a clear message, or to my dismay, he might just add to the pile.

New gym character: Unenthusiastic Fit Guy

That's right boys and girls, a new gym character has arrived!

This guy is not new to the gym. I've seen him around for quite some time already. Recently, I only see him when he's with his trainer. Unenthusiastically Fit Guy is quite fit, as his name states. What I've noticed is that his attitude is pretty lethargic when he's with his trainer. The scene is quite amusing.

The whole time UFG's trainer is trying to pump him up. UFG on the other hand is being a bit whiney about the whole thing. When he's lifting, you can tell its not easy, but he's not really trying that hard. The trainer tells him, "okay two more reps!", and UFG replies, "uhh... I don't think so", and puts the weights down. You can tell the trainer is a bit disappointed, but the guy is so nice that all he does is smile. The trainer tries to mix things up a bit and introduces new exercises to UFG's routine. When this happens, UFG unthusiastically says, "uhh... what's this now?".

The strangest thing was that the guy looked so fit. His demeanor didn't reflect his physique. There are two reasons why people hire a trainer: 1) They need instruction on how to do the exercises, develop a routine, and maybe get some eating tips. 2) They need someone to motivate them while exercising.

I don't know... I think trainers are a waste of money unless you're a professional athlete or bodybuilder. Us regular folk should be able to learn how to use the machines, and buy a book or read some magazines to develop a routine. It seems silly to pay so much money for someone to push you. Would your boss hire you to make him do his job? Instead, get a friend to go with you, or befriend someone similar (so you don't have to keep changing the weights) and workout together. You can motivate each other.

Update on annoying gym regulars:
Talkative Asian Duo These guys haven't showed up since they became a trio. Awesome! No more loud macho banter, no more hogging the bench press, no more lack of re-racking.

Orgasmic Situp Girl Haven't seen her in a looong time. Perhaps she has found a new way to orgasm. Unfortunately, her coach/partner still shows up on occasion. He still manages to leave his crap all over the place.

Tall Mean (Nice) Dude As mentioned in a previous post, Tall Mean Dude is now Tall Nice Dude. He is still nice the last time I saw him. Must be on Prozac.

Unfortunately, there have been new annoying people popping up at The Edge. Don't worry folks, they'll show up on these pages and receive the verbal bludgeoning they deserve soon enough.

Here are links to the previous gym posts:
I need my own gym
Welcome new idiot gym character!
Peaceful gym... sort of

Workout Diary

Nice pants...

I came across this ridiculous Ronnie Coleman video a while ago. Then I caught it again recently on the Tube. I'm glad I did, because that night I had the best workout in a long time. I wasn't motivated by his ability to lift insane weights. Instead, I observed and employed the way he motivated himself before and during the lift. By getting pumped up before the set, I was able to get in more reps. I proceeded to do this for every exercise I did, and it was great!

In the past when I had a workout partner, we would motivate each other. I've been working out alone for so long that I've forgotten what its like to have a good workout. Usually, I go to the gym after work and after dinner. I'm more ready to fall asleep in front of the TV at that point. I know that right now my biggest hurdles are getting enough sleep, and getting enough to eat. Neither problems are getting solved at this point because I'm a picky eater (low salt, low fat, low sugar), and I just don't sleep enough.

So from now on, get angry before you bench press 400lbs.

Even little people can learn from big bodybuilders.

Peaceful Gym... sort of

Believe it or not, the American Club gym (they call it The Edge...) has been quite peaceful these days.

Tall Mean Dude actually re-racked his own weights when I asked him whether he was done with them. We even small talked about the WTO riots (he seemed excited about the riots... don't ask).

Talkative Asian Duo became a trio last night, and although they were still mighty talkative, the "third wheel" actually re-racked their weights afterwards. What still bothered me was that the three of them hogged the bench. They consecutively did sets of the bench press while talking to one another non-stop. They also predictable did only BP, biceps and pullups. It was funny watching them trying to do pullups. They were really loud. When will people learn to STFU.

Orgasmic Situp Girl has not showed up for nearly a month. I'm crossing my fingers that she and her "coach" decided to move to Mongolia.

Ditto with Talkative Women and Hurt Himself Dude.

So life is good at the gym as I start my new workout. Check it out.

Welcome new idiot gym character!

There has been a recent addition to the American Club gym's "List of Idiots".

Our newest character is: Orgasmic-Situp-Girl-!

She comes in around 9:30 in the evening with her trainer/workout dude. I've seen this guy before, and he's one of those people who never says hi (this gym is infested with people like this). Anyways, he basically breaks all the rules: uses mobile phone, doesn't re-rack weights, takes ten towels (literally) and leaves them all over the place.

The dynamic duo spend the first half hour on the treadmill. Orgasmic Situp Girl (OSG for short) appears to be a novice runner, as she runs with an "upward" motion and stomps down on the moving path which makes for 30 minutes of very loud pounding.

The worst part of OSG's workout, comes when she starts doing her situp/push-up/step-up routine. With every situp she does, she lets out a shriek like she's having the big-O. Its a good thing she can only do about 5 situps at a time because she is LOUD. During this routine, messy-gym-partner-dude acts as her trainer and gives her support. Then they spend time chatting and laughing hysterically after every set or so.

I really want to go over and tell her to shut the fuck up, but I don't want to be mean. This also doesn't seem like something to complain to management about. Arr... I'm so sick of people in general.

I need my own gym

The gym I am a member of is really nice. The latest machines, plenty of free weights, plenty of cardio equipment as well. Because its so nice and because it costs a pretty penny to join, there are naturally a whole bunch of rich, irresponsible, and lazy members I have to share it with. There are a few who I see all the time and have nicknames for:

Talkative Asian Duo: Two Hong Kong guys who are always there together. All they do is talk talk talk while they help each other out with the weights. Of course, all they work out are the "clubbing muscles". I don't know if they're showing off or what, but they always put on more weight than they can handle. I really couldn't give a shit whether they're exercising properly or talking too loud. What pisses me off is that they never ever re-rack their weights. Lazy bums. Some people think because they have money, there will always be someone who picks up after them.

Tall Mean Dude: There's this tall guy who is pretty fit with the meanest look on his face. I said hi to him once (I say hi to everyone... almost), but got no response and that's fine. What bothers me about this guy is that he sweats all over the place. Wherever he walks, he leaves a trail of sweat. Okay, no problem. Some guys just sweat more. But this guy sweats all over the equipment and doesn't bother to clean that shit up after he uses it. Plus, he does this plyometric exercise where he steps on the bench press bench with is shoes. Why can't he uses the plastic "steps" like everyone else? Lazy bum.... I mean asshole.

Dude who's going to one day hurt himself: This guy comes in and first thing he does is jump on the rowing machine. He then goes all out on the thing. Its painful to watch. His back is completely arched on the pull back. He does it for like 10mins. Trust me, one day one of his discs is going to fly out and hit me straight in the face. Idiot.

Women there to socialize: Some women just show up to walk the treadmill at 1mph and watch TV. Then when their friend shows up, they start talking and talking and talking. They'd use machines next to each other and talk. Then they'd finish exercising and keep talking. Then they'd move that conversation outside (thank god). Then I'd see them still talking after I'm done showering. I guess that's just another difference between men and women. My peeve about them is that they're not really exercising. They're talking while hogging the machines. Please take your conversation elsewhere.

I remember the good old days in college when my roommate and I went to the gym everyday. We had a group of weight room buddies who we'd only see in the weight room (weird). I'd see those guys every day, but never outside of the gym. Whenever one of us missed a day, we'd always get ridiculed the next day for our absence. That gym at Wheaton College was worn out and the equipment was old, but it was great. Those guys would never let anyone do an exercise wrong. They always cleaned up after themselves, and kept all the equipment in good order even though it wasn't ours. Everyone felt responsible for one another, and everyone felt responsible for the gym.

Now in my current gym, it just seems like people have a total lack of respect for the gym, the staff, and the other members. What a pity money can do to people.