How to spot a Mainlander Part I

This series is not meant to make fun or discriminate against Mainland Chinese folk. I'm simply pointing out patterns and behavior that they themselves may not have noticed. Hopefully, they won't take this too seriously.

Let us start with the basics. I once read somewhere that when women meet men, the first thing they look at are his watch, and his shoes. Of course this may not be true in all cases. What the author was trying to point out, was that one can tell a man's wealth through his timepiece, and his footwear. At one point in time this may have been true. Rich guys don't always dress nice, but they'll always wear that rare, classic watch and their $2000 loafers. Not so rich guys may be able to afford nice clothes, but they are not able to afford the expensive shoes, or the $100k watch.

Can you differentiate wealth from a guy's shirt? Sure, but it is a lot more difficult. Can you honestly tell the difference between a $50 shirt and a $500 one? In two minutes? Also, a $500 shirt isn't so outrageous as a $300,000 watch. Something like that just stands out. Anyways...

Nowadays its different: rich guys wear Swatch watches and Nike sneakers (okay fine, Prada sneakers). It is much harder to decipher wealth by those key items anymore. Believe it or not, Lee Ka Shing wears a Seiko. Old Money take their Ferrari's and show up at the Dai Pai Dong in their flip flops. The trend is for the wannabe rich to dress up, and the rich to dress down. Compensation, I guess.

Lucky for us, you can still easily tell a Mainland Chinese male by their watch and their shoes.

For the watch, they always wear this variation that has a very thin face (no, not Patek Philippe mind you). Usually, it is accompanied by a leather wristband, or a thin metal band. Once you've seen one, you'll definitely recognize it: thin face, super simple design, almost always a gold colored face.

The shoes usually have a pointy toe. They are always a really shiny black, and they always have an emblem of some sort. I've been through a whole Chinese department store, and failed to find a pair of men's leather shoes without an emblem. Take a look at these two variations.

I noticed these things a long time ago, but it really hit me during the Chinese New Year holiday. During that week, Hong Kong was suddenly filled with people wearing these shoes and those watches. Pretty amazing.

The Mind Wanders...

Yes, I know I've been away. Two posts in nearly one month is pretty pathetic. I basically put myself into complete vacation mode during the Chinese New Year holiday. I checked work email, but only responded to important ones. Last week was the first week of work after the holiday, and I basically just drifted through it. Kinda scary if you ask me. Though China wasn't running at full steam yet, I should have been preparing the goals for this year and figuring out how to achieve them. Instead, I slithered my way through the week while battling a minor stomach flu.
If you need some motivation this week, perhaps this video will help (or not)...

The Most Important Win

Oscars 2007 came and went. To be honest, it was quite a bore. Ellen Degeneres has always been a fine comedian, no qualms about that. However, everything in between just wasn't all that entertaining. Most of the acceptance speeches were ho-hum. Not saying that giving an acceptance speech in front of the whole world is easy, but I spent the whole time nervous that the winners would do something embarrassing. One of the worst things is being unable to finish your speech, and having the Oscar music chase you off stage. Even worse than that is demanding that you be able to finish while that Oscar music is playing. Its like begging for your life as the guillotine drops... embarrassing. If it were me, I would have prepared an original, interesting, or meaningful speech. At least do what Michael Moore did: make a friggin statement. Having said that, I guess my favorite acceptance speech was by Forest Whitaker. See it here.

Just kidding... its actually here.

Personally, I was especially looking forward to the best documentary category. I was truly hoping that An Inconvenient Truth would win. The last time I wished so hard for a movie to win was when Hayao Miyazaki's Spirited Away was nominated for best animated film. AIT won. Not only was the win well deserved, it was extremely important. More people need to see this film. Hopefully, with the Oscar win, AIT will gain even more popularity, and its message will spread. The environment that we have nearly destroyed needs saving. Lets at least play a small role in repairing our mistakes.

Oh, and congrats to Marty, too.

Best and Worst movie of the (my) week

Tasty beverage of the week: The Departed

Saw this on the plane, but thanks to Cathay (can't believe I said that), all the profanity and all the violence were intact. I enjoyed The Departed a great deal. I think one of the reasons why I liked it was due in large to Infernal Affairs. Million dollar question: was it better than IA? Lets see...

I must say that I enjoyed both films just as much seeing them for the first time. I remember walking out of the theater excited after seeing Infernal Affairs. It felt so complete, so well done. It stood out by a mile when compared to Hong Kong films at the time. The acting, the style, and the story were all brilliant. Because it was such an achievement in comparison to it's peers, some of the holes in the story and action could be forgotten.

First of all, I felt that The Departed filled in some of those holes that Hong Kong film making left in IA. Here are a few examples:

• Combining the "girlfriend" and "psychiatrist" roles. An excellent move. In IA, these two roles were nothing more than plot movers.
  
• Taking out all the cheese: the silly music they played when the undercover chief fell off the building in IA, silly techno/computer/unreasonable scenes, etc.
• The big big "security camera in elevator during showdown scene" question mark.
  
• Closure all in one film, so there will be no The Departed 2 or 3. A big mistake on the part of IA.
  

The Departed also had all the nitty-gritty-ness that IA didn't have. Departed is a violent film. Lots of punching and kicking and beating. Perhaps its the setting of blue-collar/Boston/mafia that requires the need for violent realism. I loved how all the cops swore at one another, shooting the finger at will, and making crude jokes. It truly felt like the Irish-catholic, chauvinistic culture of Beantown.

My two favorite characters were those played by Alec Baldwin and Mark Wahlberg. Funny, mean, and egotistical. Perhaps they were acting themselves, but it just fit the situation perfectly. Their roles also balanced out a lot of the tension the movie had in place. I can only describe them as chauvinistic, funny, assholes. Brilliant. Some said that Jack Nicholson's character was too over the top. I don't agree. If he wasn't sort of over the edge, nobody would be scared of him, and he probably wouldn't have lasted in that scenario. Smart and edgy fits his character well.

In comparison, Infernal Affairs though good, looks cheap compared to The Departed. They tried to look cool in the prequel and sequel, but over did it in my opinion. In the sequel: long black coats in July?! Give me a break.

After watching both films, I really feel that The Departed is much more refined and entertaining than Infernal Affairs. IA is good in its own way, but it needs a little more finesse to be at Departed's level.

Rotten turd of the week: Wo Hu 臥虎

Hmm... I don't know where to start. Crappiest Hong Kong movie I've seen this year. There's a whole slew of "famous" characters in this flick. Some are even great actors. Miu Kiu Wai was a high up police chief of some sort, in charge of undercover cops. He played this role horribly. His level of acting is only suitable for a B-level television series. Eric Tsang Chi Wai plays a smart gangster with no bite. Most of his chacter spends time being a romantic rather than a gangster. Pretty boring subplot to the film. Jordan Chan Siu Chun doesn't seem to take acting seriously anymore. Francis Ng Chun Yu is a good actor, but his role was poorly written. ... and so on...

The entire plot and storyline is a mishmash of poorly written character roles that don't meld at all. There were some twists in the end, but the film is such a mess, that you don't even realise they're twists anymore. It is my habit to watch movies till the end (and not quit halfway through), but I was seriously considering calling it quits on this low-budget piece o' crap.

Honorable mention: Udon うどん

Not near the level of Tampopo, but still a good Japanese movie about food. This time the main subject is... heh... udon. The movie is sometimes serious, mostly funny, and very appetizing. Japanese udon is such a simple food, yet it can take on many different forms and styles. This film takes place in a small town in Japan, which is considered the "Udon Mecca". The story begins with a failed comedian starts to work for a local magazine, that popularizes the town through udon. Eventually, people come to make "udon pilgrimages", but the results are mixed and there are other stories involved.

Udon is a good movie, and certainly worth watching if you're interested in food or Japanese culture in general.

Thank you, Whistler

My first time on the slopes was a blast. Learning how to snowboard was difficult at first, but eventually I got up to speed (literally) on the 2nd/3rd day.

Got beat up pretty bad by both gravity and mother nature. Though I have a suspicion that it was my own lack of skill/technique.

Anyways, an excellent 3 days in Whistler. I feel fully recharged and ready to go. Though due to some minor injuries, I'm not ready to go back to the gym just yet!

Desert Heat

Tiger Woods is in Dubai this week, and he's wearing shades on the golf course! That is something that I have never seen before. Certainly, they look fine, and they're probably made by Nike. If he doesn't like them, that means good news for the consumer.

Tiger Woods is very picky with the stuff he uses on the golf course. Off the course... not so much (er... lack of fashion sense [ahem]). My problem with sunglasses, is that they don't fit too good under the cap. Wearing both a cap and sunglasses at the same time have always been difficult for me. Hopefully, Tiger will run into the same problem, and Nike will solve it.

Oh... wishful thinking.

Colts 38, Patriots 34

Close Game, Tough Loss
What a game. It was all about offense. The Pats and Colts basically exchanged quarters, with the Pats dominating the 2nd, while the Colts came right back in the 3rd. It was almost a competition to see who would blink first. A worn down Tom Brady made a mistake in the final drive to end the game.

For me, it was a pretty devastating loss. We were leading by 18 at the half. The Colts' comeback was unbelievably quick. Everyone not named Brady made mistakes. We could have put this game away with our offense, but costly mistakes didn't allow that to happen. Reche Caldwell dropped the ball 80 times after making the winning catch last game. Our defense was pretty mediocre as well. The Colts' passing game blew right by us in the second half.

I am disappointed because we lost to the Colts, and also the chance to be in the Superbowl. I had plans for this Superbowl, and was dearly hoping the Pats would be a part of it. It felt like they would be part of the plan just last week up until the third quarter. Management needs to get their act together and get Brady some support. It's pretty much been a one man show this season.

Speaking of hot female athletes...

Serena Williams is not one of them.

Gym Character Transform!

I'm sure you all remember the infamous idiot gym characters, OSG and her "trainer" friend. If not, just click on the link to find out.

Apparently, this trainer friend is a gym regular himself. Though OSG is nowhere to be seen, "trainer friend" is not flying solo. Along for the ride is his own female trainer. Together, they are another dynamic duo that raises havoc at the gym I go to.

Since "trainer friend" no longer shows up with OSG, it looks like a new nickname is in order. Due to a trait of his that I may have failed to mention in the past, this nickname can only belong to him and no one else. "Trainer friend" has made the transformation; he has successfully emerged from his cocoon, budding into the infamous, ever-dreaded... EXCESS TOWEL BOY!

Now how could he possibly have earned this nickname? Perhaps you've already cut to the chase, and you're asking yourself how many towels did he have to take to earn this nickname? Here's the thing: Excess Towel Boy (ETB for short) has been seen carrying a stack of ten towels on his way to the gym. These towels are provided by the gym, mind you, so naturally he feels free to take as many as he can hold.

Once he starts working out, its like a tornado came through. Towels are everywhere! I have to flick away his towels in order to pick up equipment or barbells. I always know when ETB comes alone because I can see that the towel tornado has hit town. When he's with his trainer, the poor girl has to pick up his sweaty piles of cotton when he's finished.

Perhaps one day I'll grab all the dirty towels in the bin, and dump them where he normally works out. That will either send him a clear message, or to my dismay, he might just add to the pile.

Let the girl play... I suppose

This year's Sony Open at Kapalua came and went. Another sponsor's exemption was doled out to Michelle Wie so she could play against the men and not make the cut. And once again, tour players complained about how another precious exemption was given to a female who never qualified to play in a PGA Tour tournament.

I'm sure I can't imagine what a struggle it is to play tournament golf day in and day out. More difficult it is to have that be your sole method of income. So it is pretty much expected that guys who depend on these tournaments for their food and shelter will bitch and moan about a teenage girl taking a slot that could have belonged to one of their compatriots.

My advise to the "Michelle Wie Sony Open Exemption Slot" candidates, is to get one of two things: 1) a game, or 2)an image consultant. For some, a gym pass, plastic surgery, or membership to the Men's Hair Club may work as well (Men's Hair Club is arguable, since you may wear a hat all the time anyways).

Bottom line is, people want to watch Wie play. She has a game (for a 17 year old girl), a great swing, and she certainly looks a lot better than a majority of the PGA Tour players. So sorry D.J. Trahan, Craig Barlow, Wes Short Jr., and others. You didn't do much better than Michelle, and I'd much rather watch her miss the cut than watch you guys. I understand its your paycheck and all, but frankly, I don't care. For the viewers, professional golf is about entertainment. When Paul Goydos won, what did I get? That's right, lots of Michelle Wie eye candy, that's what.

So let Michelle Wie play all she wants, I'll watch her play prime time golf any day.

Finally

January First Two Thousand and Seven marks the day Hong Kong banned smoking in most indoor public places. All I can say is that its about damn time! The ban is certainly a sign of sophistication. The ill effects of smoking have long been known, and Hong Kong is finally doing something to protect non-smoking consumers and employees who want to stay healthy.

"無啖好食"
"食食吓飯要走出街，好唔方便". A woman complains that she can't have a "peaceful dinner(安樂茶飯)", since she now has to go outside to smoke. All I can say is that non-smokers have never been able to have a "peaceful dinner", and now they can finally have it. Think about it this way: cigarettes are what's interrupting your peaceful dinner, not non-smokers. If you choose to smoke, I guess you've also chosen to have inconvenient, crappy meals. This woman also claims that she will go out less in the future due to the ban. If you let cigarettes control your lifestyle and daily habits, I don't know how else to put it: you are a loser.

Its hard to believe all the ignorant moaning involved in this new ban. Karaoke managers claim that sales will go down by 20%. Where is this prediction coming from? Will people suddenly stop singing karaoke? Will the sales of karaoke machines for home use suddenly skyrocket? Have people all along gone to karaokes specifically to smoke? I predict the answers to be big fat NOs. Will health conscious people start visiting bars and karaokes more frequently? That is certainly possible. I know I might. I've been avoiding poorly ventilated bars and restaurants for quite some time now because of cigarette smoke. No more watery eyes, no more sore throat, and no more smelly hair/clothes.

"你又俾人買煙，又度度唔食得煙"
The last I heard, we still have something called a free-will. Another woman complains that cigarettes are for sale everywhere, yet people aren't allowed to smoke. Just because cigarettes are for sale, it doesn't mean you have to buy them... idiot. Though I would love to see cigarettes outlawed, its not the government's responsibility to stop you from killing yourself or wasting your money. When you do try doing these things, just don't drag the rest of us with you.

Happy 2007. Thanks for not smoking.

Merry Christmas!

Yes, happy holidays dear friends and loyal readers. This Christmas came and went so quickly. The busy work schedule makes the holiday time go by so fast. I spent a full day and a half shopping (something I almost never do) for gifts. Maybe that's where all the time went. I spent all of the 23rd in Causeway Bay and Central. I'm glad to say that I did all my shopping and gift wrapping within the allotted time limit. Unfortunately, I didn't quite get to enjoy much of the weekend.

Speaking of gift wrapping, I am known within my family to be somewhat of a cheapie. I wrap all my gifts with old newspaper instead of proper wrapping paper. Wrapping paper is nice, but I always get this heart wrenching feeling every time I tear it all up when opening gifts. Though beautiful and creative, store bought wrapping paper is such a waste of our precious resources. A couple of years ago, I decided to use newspaper instead. The results have yielded some pleasant surprises! The key is to find front-page type pages with big pictures. Check out two of the gifts from this year. Keep in mind that the wrapping is old newspaper!

A front page clipping from some quirky article.

An article on some new local film.

So if you haven't done so already, consider using old newspaper to wrap your gifts next year! ;)

Language Homocide

What a joke! I guess for Hong Kong's low ass standards, Tseng's mandarin is "good".

Shut Up and Sign Already!

Scott Boras is full of shit!
See why here.
Baseball isn't just about money...

Only In America Part I

Just to be fair, I'm starting a running segment called "Only In America". It is sort of a parallel to the popular ongoing "我們的祖國... 唉" entries. Through the OIA entries, we will see how America is just as ridiculous as the dumb shit that goes on in China. Arguably the two strongest nations in the world right now, are equally as screwed up.

Rabbi threatens a lawsuit if a Seattle airport doesn't add a menorah to their Christmas trees. The airport responds by taking down all the trees completely. People whine, Rabbi gets death threats, and the trees are eventually put back up... Only in America.

I can't believe that someone would threaten to sue over a Christmas decoration; or maybe I should believe it. Crap like this happens in all the time. Americans go to court over the most absurd disputes. Common sense doesn't always apply either. Like this case where a guy tried to sue Michael Jordan because he looked like him (for $832 million by the way). Then there's the infamous McDonald's Hot Coffee case, where the woman successfully sued McDonald's because her hot coffee was too hot.

Anyways, back to the case at hand. This guy's got it right when he uses the phrases, "hyper-sensitive" and "hyper-cautious". However, I disagree of him accusing the airport for being "hyper-cautious". The airport was just fed up with the silliness of it all. They probably didn't want to deal with litigation over something so petty and nonsensical.

At the same time, what was this Rabbi thinking? By threatening a lawsuit, all he's doing is giving himself and his religion a bad name in a country already filled with so much prejudice.

Chill out, its Christm... err... the holiday season!

My Favorite Jack

Jack as in the fictional Tom Clancy character, Jack Ryan. Though I have enjoyed my fair share of Clancy novels, I am referring to the three Jacks in the four Clancy films.

Patriot Games/
Clear and Present Danger
Clearly the most accomplished actor of the three, and likely to be the favorite Jack amongst the general public, Harrison Ford as Jack Ryan. I'll admit that I liked both of these movies. Action, politics, mystery, suspense, etc. Clear and Present Danger even had a cool Black Ops team sent to Colombia to disrupt activities of drug cartels, with Willem Dafoe as the commander, John Clark. Admiral Greer played in both films by James Earl Jones.

Certainly an above average effort by Ford. However, I didn't like him as Jack. He was a older, seemingly wiser, yet so naive. Like all of Ford's other acting roles, he was the goofy, handsome guy, who always did the right thing. Not much fun to watch, really.

The Sum of All Fears
Good Will Hunting and perhaps Chasing Amy were the only two watchable films this guy was in. Yep, Ben Affleck played a somewhat Twilight Zone-ish, parallel universe type Jack Ryan. The film sort of depicts Ryan as a rookie analyst for the CIA. He meets Greer for the first time, this time played by Morgan Freeman. John Clark appears again, this time played by the awesome Liev Schreiber.

He basically plays this loud, reckless, unthoughtful Jack. Fears is not a good film, and it is completely unwatchable because of Affleck. Bad acting, ho-hum action and storyline. I find everything Affleck pretty unwatchable these days, and I'm not on any sort of bandwagon. I just don't like his acting.

The Hunt for Red October
Brilliant! Just brilliant film with a top caliber actor in Sean Connery as Captain Ramius. Alec Baldwin plays my favorite Jack. This was the first Tom Clancy film I saw, and I can rewatch it any day of the week. The submarine tactics and operation is very well done. This is the kind of movie that you pick up something new everytime you watch it. I probably first saw October when I was 10 years old, and I'm not even sure why I liked it back then. Thinking back, I barely understood it. It was a pretty complicated movie in terms of politics and defection, and Cold War stuff in general.

The reason why I liked Jack this time, was that he fit the role pretty perfect. Again, a bit naive, but Baldwin at the time appeared young and earnest enough to pull it off without looking stupid. There wasn't all that yelling and screaming like in Fears. Instead it was a lot of reasoning and scenes of tense decision making. Jack (Baldwin) really looked like he wanted his target to understand and be convinced; Affleck in Fears just looked like he was shouting all the time. Ford looked clueless throughout most of his Clancy films, more like a happy go lucky guy fighting terrorists and drug cartels.

At the time when October first came out, I thought Alec Baldwin would be huge... then I heard about his brothers. Alec is pretty huge these days. He plays his roles to near perfection. He can do comedy as well as drama. Also check out The Cooler, Outside Providence, and his performance in Along Came Polly. Alec Baldwin is classic.

CIA guy says: "Stay away from acting, Ben".

Rudeness Breeds Rudeness

Why are people in China rude?

I've heard a lot of comments from friends and colleagues about how poor the service attitude is in China. It seems that waiters in China are just not service oriented. Personally, I have found some truth in this. Waiters in China are pushy. They force you to order tea (which costs extra), and more expensive dishes (like seafood and steak). If you don't follow their recommendations, they make their disappointment known via body language/attitude. Orders are never perfect. If you order five dishes, there's a good chance that one of them won't show up. When you complain about the absent dish, you will once again be met with disdain.

However, its not always like that. One very peculiar thing I noticed is that when foreigners are present, some waiters will suddenly "light up". Good manners all around. The waiters are suddenly attentive, laughing at their loose grasp of the English language, replacing chopsticks with forks and knives, ready and waiting with soda and beer. Why this sudden change in attitude?

Most foreigners are polite. Still don't understand?

Most of the Hong Kong and Mainland Chinese who dine in these same restaurants are very rude to the staff. They never give any thanks to their servers. A nice "thank you" is never met with a "you're welcome". They also never say "please" or "excuse me". Servers have gotten tired of customers not giving any gratitude. They get nothing in return for being polite, whether that be a simple thanks, or a monetary tip (tipping is not customary in China).

Foreigners on the other hand not only tip (out of habit), but they're also very polite (again out of habit). Servers treat foreigners better because foreigners treat them better.

It is that simple. If Hong Kong people are more polite to their Mainland counterparts, they will find that China may not be as impolite as they think.

我們的祖國... 唉 Part V

China 101
Bigger fist = More Power
(Click picture to read article)
See here for the online version

Hunan County government big shot attaches army license plates to his car in order to bypass routine security checkpoints. Local checkpoint traffic cop gets suspicious, and stops big shot's car for inspection. Big shot gets pissed, and calls his army-related thugs to beat up the traffic cop.

Would this hapen in your country? This would be like Senator John Kerry riding in an Army Humvee in attempt to avoid paying his toll on the Mass Pike. If a state trooper stopped him, what is the likelyhood that he'd call the National Guard to come beat up this Statie?

1. Very likely
2. Likely
3. Not likely
4. Very unlikely
5. None of the above

Well... I think I'll pick number five, none of the above. The answer is yes, if hell freezes over.

This blogger has a different take on the situation. Our big shot, Liu Hua (劉樺) is simply a crappy politician. Read the article here.

Luckily, this incident was caught on video. I am quite sure that unfair incidents like this happen all the time. None of them ever see the light, as the victims are likely threatened and tend to keep quiet. I certainly hope that this will signal the end to Liu Hua's political career. Let this be a warning to future Chinese officials. Using your political power in the form of brute force will not be tolerated. How is this different from a street gang? Liu Hua is a thug, and he should be allowed nowhere near a position of power (as with many other Chinese politicians).

More articles on this ridiculous incident: here, here, and here.

A Bit of Control

Last time I was in China, I noticed something different. I could view my blog! That's right folks. Blogger blogs were suddenly visible in the Mainland. I don't know if it was a hole in the system, a glitch in the Matrix. It makes me slightly giddy.

Recently in the news, Google was criticized by the world for allowing China to impose censorship with Google dot CN. I have a couple of thoughts on that. Why is Google catching all the flak, when all the other search engines are also abiding by this communist rule? Do they really have a choice?

I think the main question is: would the world be better off with Google not being available in China? The answer is no. For China to break loose from the communist wrath, they must have access to Google. It is a small first step in breaking away from censorship. Why? Because in a decade's time, when Google becomes indispensible to China's education system and economy (like it has become in the U.S.), they will have control over China and not the other way around. Google will slowly but surely remove the censorship facade from China. Chinese people will be free at last.

Lets just hope communists aren't reading this... ha ha. Even if they are, what can they do? Who can refuse the vast resource called Google? Then again, will Google become the next China? Afterall, they will be in control of what we search for and what we cannot.

The Real Reason for a GST

Yes yes, one of the most debated topics this year is the possible introduction of a Goods and Sales Tax (GST). Pretty much everyone in Hong Kong, including all political parties are opposed to having a GST. Tourism and the poor are the two groups that will be hit the hardest by this tax. Please feel free to Google it and read all about the details.

What came to the public's attention was a leak last week about the Government's plan to purchase a fleet of the Volkswagen Phaeton. These cars will replace the current fleet of BMW 7-series luxury sedans, purchased back in 1997. Their excuse was that the BMWs were close to 10 years old, have around 200,000km on the odometer, and it is "about time" to replace them.

Meanwhile, a lot of questions are being asked (see article on the left): why so soon (referring to 10 years)? The old BMWs still run great. How did they manage to rack up 200,000km? A lot of non-work related use would be a good guess (so high mileage is not a good excuse). Why the Phaeton? Why not a cheaper, more environmental car?

This comes as quite a shock to Hong Kong people after they heard our Financial Secretary, Henry Tang, brazenly ask the question, "Where is the money to come from?", referring to the need for a GST.

Well, I can't tell you where the money will come from, but I guess I know where its going.

我們的祖國... 唉 Part IV

Just returned from a four day trip to China. Naturally, you don't read about the embedded shit about the country until you return to "civilization", where free speech prevails most of the time.

In the fourth installment of this ongoing series, we get a glimpse of how Chinese people have soiled the English language, just as they soiled their own language by creating simplified characters (but that's another story).

In preparation for the 2008 Olympic games, it appears that China is overhauling its signs that display english translations. Tourists will no longer think that Chinese people have sex with fruit, among other misconceptions, due to atrocious translation errors.

In the end, it all stems from laziness. Whoever did the translation was too lazy to see whether they did it right. This sign in particular has been on the internet for quite some time. Its just that people were too lazy to make the correction until now.

Policy Address

Hong Kong's most gutless man strikes again!

After that anti-smoking cop-out he pulled last year, the master of Chinese cheek-kissing is back this year with another gutless cop-out; this time he's backing out of setting up minimum wage legislation. Of course we all remember his false promise to improve the environment. What has this guy done?! What is his purpose? To go around shaking peoples' hands and asking them whether they've eaten lunch yet?

I bring up that point because that's exactly what he did. Tsang went around local neighborhoods asking residents who were on their way to work, whether they were on their way to work. He asked people who just finished lunch, whether they had lunch yet. Do something already! I can't stand how he pretends to be a politician. Don't we have any good politicians in Hong Kong? Perhaps China only approves of the silly ones, because they are easy to control. From now on, his nickname is no longer "Bow Tie", its "The Puppet".

Puppet Tsang (PT for short), is continually protective of the business circles (工商界) in Hong Kong. Every time the people want something whether it be anti-smoking legislation, environmental improvement, or minimum wage legislation, those bastards of business always get in the way. With the help of PT, they always end up getting their way, too. I don't know what PT is so afraid of. Even our Mainland brethren have a minimum wage policy. Perhaps he's afraid of angering big business, which is possibly his meal ticket after his term in office ends. Is this idea so preposterous? A good number of politicians in Hong Kong have moved on to big business after they retire from politics.

This time around, he says non-legislative policies will be suggested, and the possibility of legislation will be reviewed in two years... TWO YEARS?! Unbelievable. Instead, he throws out some chump change used for "determining whether the improvement plan is successful". What kind of bullshit is that?

Meanwhile...

Turns out the Food and Environmental Hygiene Department (食環處) pays its workers less than government issued welfare. So the question is, would you rather work your ass off sweeping the streets and cleaning the toilets, or would you rather kick back at home and pick up an even bigger check? Hong Kong would be a nice city if it weren't for corruption, unethical practices, and a shoddy government.

阿扁發脾四

So yesterday was Taiwan's 10-10 celebration. As planned, the Anti-CSB (Chen Shui Bian) folk went forward with their "天下圍攻", and surrounded the Presidential Palace among other places. Any type of planned celebration was disrupted.

Despite the chaos, resilient Chen strapped on his bullet-proof vest and braved the stage. Cries of protest drowned out the canned cheering and applause. Protesters managed to sneak on the stage, holding up an Anti-Chen banner behind the President as he spoke.

Well, in the end Ah Bian got frustrated and announced that next year's 10-10 celebrations would be cancelled. I found that hilarious. He's basically trying to cancel the nation's (wait, Taiwan's not a nation) birthday party. Is that even possible? Its like he had a senior moment, and did something that made absolutely no sense. I don't think anyone has the right or power to cancel the country's birthday celebration... Unless you're a dictator.

That's a slight peek into Ah Bian's mind. He subconsciously thinks he's some sort of dictator. Then again, if he were an actual dictator, these protests would be violent, and he'd have troops shooting these people. Sze Ming De would be assassinated, and China would intervene, and it'd be a big friggin mess. Someone needs to make a movie about that.

Therapy is...

Another summer, another season of baseball ends. What went wrong this year? August was horrible. I still miss that awesome 2004 team that worked out so well. I don't doubt Theo Epstein and his scouting team. Heck, one of the guys (Galen Carr) went to my high school (Class of '94) and lived on my floor as a teacher one year. They know a lot more about the players, and certainly know a lot more about baseball than I do. However, I must question at least a couple of their moves they made this year.

• David Wells - Why bring this guy in? Schilling, Beckett, Clement, Wakefield, Arroyo. Where would Wells fit in? Sure, the decision looks horrible now since he missed nearly the whole season, but I questioned this move the day it was made. He is a big time pitcher who I felt didn't fit in our lineup.
• Bronson Arroyo - Another move that looks horrible in hindsight, but that's not the point. This guy was a Red Sock. He loved being on the team, and trusted the team by not asking for a no-trade clause. We repay him by trading his ass before the season started. Wily Mo Pena is a decent young bat, but its hard to replace a solid SP.
• Josh Beckett/Hanley Ramirez/Coco Crisp/Andy Marte/Cla Meredith/Josh Bard/Jon Lester/Craig Hansen/Manny Delcarmann/Kason Gabbard/Jonathan Papelbon - This is more of a curiosity rather than a criticism. Getting Beckett seemed necessary at the time. Though Hanley "The Other Ramirez" Ramirez nearly led the league with 26 errors, he had a phenomenal rookie season. Crisp was horrible as our new lead-off hitter. Andy Marte was not spectacular as a rookie. Pitching showed some ups and downs. Lester was decent, Papelbon was insanely awesome. What I'm wondering, is whether we're sticking to our prospects as Theo said, or giving them away for veterans. Which is it? Also, what made us give away Ramirez when we needed a speedy shortstop? What made us trade Marte for Crisp? Cla Meredith? Josh Bard? I'm not asking for trades or big moves. Just want some reassurance for the guys already in our lineup. Especially those who did poorly last season.

One thing we did was accomplish the goal of bolstering defense, at the expense of offense.

Therapy is...

Coming home after a long day (or night), and falling asleep to Game 4 of the 2004 World Series (choose games 4-7 ALCS if you're in a Yankee hating mood).

Katamari = Need Insurance

Ad sort of based on a videogame that I haven't played, but really should have long time ago. It is an interesting ad on its own, but ten times funnier if you've played or seen the game Katamari Damacy.


The actual PSP game.

I Miss You, Fat Bastard

When Kiki saw this picture, he said, "I look like a fat bastard". He was sort of right. My horrible hair plus his expression of "fatness", made for a pretty bad picture. Yet, this ugly ass photo still sits in a frame on my bookshelf among others.

This arrival of this September means that I've been at this blog for a year. It also marks the month that my best friend Kiki permanently departed from this world. Hate to sound like a broken record, but I still think about him everyday. Occasionally, I'll have a dream about him either still being alive or somehow becoming reanimated. Waking up from those dreams isn't so much shocking as it is disappointing. I am almost used to that feeling now: waking up disappointed that it was just a dream.

Meanwhile, my life continues to move forward. There's so much I want to say, and so much I want to share. I miss you Brother. Hope to see you again soon.

Re: Now You've Done It

In response to Alex's comment:

Alex said...
I understand you totally. But then what can we really do about it? Not turn on the AC? That would be lethal in the summer. Or maybe we should starting limiting the number of cars allowed in the city, just like those taxi license

I understand what your saying. It can be difficult having zero A/C during summer in Hong Kong. I just wanted to point out this article (see below). It is an interesting take on the use of A/C, experimentation, and a change in habit. Perhaps its time we all reassess our needs.



The story is basically about a guy whose habit was to flip on the A/C before bed. It was a ritual that had lasted for as long as he could remember. Then one day he got sick, and decided to sleep with just the fan. He slept great without A/C. Suspecting that his good night's sleep was due to him being sick, he tried later on to sleep through the night sans A/C. The results were the same: great night's sleep. Since then, the guy sleeps with only the fan on.

I'm not saying that everyone should sleep without A/C. However, I do encourage people to experiment with different ways to carry out daily tasks. See if a certain energy saving way might work for you. I tried sleeping without A/C, and it worked for me. Though I can understand how it might not work for everyone, the author of that article didn't think he could sleep without A/C until he actually tried it.

In the end, it all comes down to what we are accustomed to. Can we break the cycle and get used to different conditions?

Now You've Done It

Hong Kong is become less and less attractive to foreign companies. The reason is not as obvious as it seems. That's right boys and girls, its the environment. That overwhelming cloud of aerial pollutants that blocks our beautiful harbor view is driving away foreign investors. Nobody wants to work in this environment. They're paying a premium for office space that is surrounded by smog. Here's what the pie charts say:

If the quality of Hong Kong's environment remains the same...

The attractiveness to foreign investors will:
Get Worse 79%
Get Better 8%
No Change 14%

Will cause foreign companies to relocate away from Hong Kong:
Likely to very likely 59%
Unlikely to very unlikely 41%

Funny and Unfunny of the Day

Funny

"I got some good news earlier today before the show. Thanks to Alex Rodriguez, I am no longer the most overpaid disappointment in New York City."
-- David Letterman

Unfunny

China's Priorities

Okay, I know this is old news, but the article is interesting. A demonstration of how China operates, and what it values.

The short version:
Reporter A reveals that China sent troops to Vietnam. He receives a jail sentence of 15 years.

Reporter B reveals the contents of a Jiang Zemin's report one week before its scheduled to be released. He receives a jail sentence of life imprisonment.


Like the author states: "who would have thought that revealing military secrets were less severe than some report".
Hmm...

Medical Tourism

Medical tourism is something new to me. I've heard stories of Mainlanders coming to Hong Kong for quality medical treatment, and I've heard of Hong Kongers going to China for cheap medical treatment. However, this is the first time I've heard of people actually trying to promote "medical tourism" as a selling point.

Basically, Mainland Chinese will come to Hong Kong for medical treatment at private hospitals as tourists. They will be allowed an extended stay for their treatment. I guess running a hospital has long become a business rather than a service; I just didn't realize it.

Are private hospitals in financial trouble? Do they need patients from China to fill beds? Kwong Kwok-hay, assistant medical superintendent of the Hong Kong Sanatorium and Hospital said that the hospital is in short supply of nurses, and it is already at 90% capacity. He also brought up a very good point: what are they to do in the case of an emergency? They cannot send the "vacation patients" to a government hospital.

It is a shame that China cannot even take care of its own people's medical needs. Every time I see this type of incompetence from the Mainland, I think of all those people boasting about how great Shanghai is, and how it has overtaken Hong Kong in wealth and modernity. My response to that is, so what? China has such a poor infrastructure and social system. Crime and corruption is rampant. The rich are too rich, and the poor are too poor. Those rich have to come to Hong Kong for health care on a traveler's visa because their own government can't take care of them.

China's "free" Tours

Recently, there have been more and more reports on "zero fee" or low cost tour package groups visiting Hong Kong from China. The problem with these tours is that they are low cost, so tour agencies must make their money through commission from local shops that they take the tourists to. If the tourists make no purchases, the agency makes no money.

This policy has caused much confusion and unpleasant behavior among the tour groups visiting Hong Kong. A tour of Hong Kong has now evolved into one big shopping trip. Tour buses bypass famous landmarks, instead making stops only at overpriced jewelry and electronic shops. The trouble starts when tourists decide that they don't want to spend money.

A prominent case is when a tour group was forced to wait for 3 hours on the street for their tour bus, this was supposedly in retaliation for the group not making enough purchases at designated shops. Some opted to return to the hotel on their own, only to find out their hotel room key cards no longer worked. Naturally, arguments ensued and police got involved.
As it turns out, this type of behavior has happened many times already. Tour agencies threaten to confiscate hotel rooms if tourists don't spend enough money. The designated shops often jack up product prices in order to make enough for themselves and the tour agency. There have been many cases of tourists discovering their purchases are fake or not as promised.

As travel agencies in the Mainland continue to use "zero fee" as a selling point, Hong Kong agencies are getting fed up with having to deal with tour groups that don't make any money. Both sides are at fault. China tour groups should not keep pushing "zero fee" tours. Hong Kong agencies should not even accept this type of business unless it is absolutely clear that the tourists know the "rules" of the tour. They are wrong to put all the blame on agencies in China. The unwritten policies now are unethical and dishonest. The term "zero fee" is false advertising.

Get rid of the ambiguity, and people will start loving Hong Kong again.

He walks the walk... and that's about it

I'm beginning to wonder who is worse: Donald Tsang or George W. Bush. At least Bush doesn't bow down to communists.

Last night's "Lights Out" protest was considered a failure. I personally consider it a success, because it clearly showed us who really cares about the environment, and who does not. The result? The general public does, and the big corporations do not. Oh, and despite his claims to support the environment and clean air policies, Donald Tsang actually does not care about the environment.

Like the ignorant chunk of Hong Kong, he only cares about his own future and economic prosperity, blah blah. I can't believe this guy's approval rating actually went up 0.8%. Oh wait, I just realized that its from all the talking he's done in the past year. People support him because they're anxiously waiting for him to actually do something.

"I am determined to ensure that this standard will be complied with by the power companies. It is important".

This was Tsang's claim about a week ago. Hong Kong saw one of its worst weeks of poor air quality. So the good ol' crowd pleaser comes out to talk the talk as he usually does. However, when it came down to when it really mattered, Tsang refused to participate in the protest. He even went as far as refusing to postpone a light show scheduled for last night.

Yup, go ahead Tsang, just go do what you normally do. Go back to China and kiss some more communist ass. Hong Kong doesn't need you around to make false claims and put on a fucking show.

The King Responds

After not finding "grill marks" on my airport burger, I wrote a complaint to the company that franchised Burger King in Hong Kong. What I got was a prompt and detailed response. Let me share that here with all five of my readers.

The response was sincere, and I have no reason to doubt that BK does char-broil their patties, except for the fact that my burger lacked grill marks twice already. I believe that their airport branch is simply too busy at times, and they have a bit of a quality control issue. I have taken up on Sammy's meal voucher offer, and I hope to give BK a favorable report next time. Below are the photos (click to enlarge) that came with the email.

Give me grill marks!

I am a frequent airport visitor, so naturally I have tried all the restaurants at the Hong Kong International Airport. One exception would be Popeye's Chicken, because my fried chicken eating days are over. The food is all overpriced, as expected. The biggest disappointment however, is that Burger King's burgers are not char-broiled.

How is this possible? My impression was that BK prided themselves on serving their meat with grill marks. That tasty burnt carcinogenic flavor just goes well with beef. They basically took away the only reason anyone would choose BK over McDonald's. Oh well.

On to the price. I recognize that its airport prices, but lets just take a look at how outrageous they actually are:

McDonald's Double Cheeseburger = $8.00
Burger King Double Cheeseburger = $29.00

My regular MD meal consists of two double cheeseburgers and an order of corn = $29.00. At the airport, my meal is cut in half, plus I get no veggies. I feel bad for the people who work there and half to make this overpriced junk their daily intake.

(click to enlarge at your own risk)

The New Cool

I have to admit that stepping into the theater, I had lowered expectations for Miami Vice. The theatrical trailer made it look like an MTV style action flick full of unintentional cheesy dialogue. Well... after seeing it, all I can say is that this film went beyond my expectations. I thoroughly enjoyed it! Before we get into what I liked about Vice, lets set a few rules for watching it:

1. Try your best to ignore the plot. Why? Because its not all there. These days its hard to create an original cop story, and writers sometimes try to get too creative. I enjoyed the plot, but I can totally see how people would get confused or feel cheated by all the "unanswers".
   
2. Do your homework. If you're not already a fan of the original Don Johnson/Philip Michael Thomas hit TV series, do yourself a favor and get to know the background. The movie doesn't explain how Crockett and Tubbs became agents, and for good reason! I am very happy that this movie isn't three hours long.
3. Treat all the drugs, money, and reasons for the "mission" as MacGuffins. It is a bit confusing, and it is ultimately unimportant. In some movies you just have to ignore certain plot devices that move the story forward. I hate it when critics overemphasize on story and plot in action thrillers.
   

Okay. I liked the new Vice because it was beautiful, the action was exciting, and it was so damn cool. I haven't seen a movie this cool in a long time. I have seen Jamie Foxx in Any Given Sunday, and he was not cool. However, in this movie he is the epitome of cool. Despite the 80s hair style, Colin Farrell plays a very smooth Sonny Crockett.

It must be said though that Vice is very much a man's wet dream. From the fights, to the gun fights, to the cars, planes, boats, and "hard" dialogue, I can see how men would enjoy this film right off the bat. A lot of the "coolness" comes from material objects. Everything from the condos, to the man toys, to the clothes, all look expensive. Women may have to look for appeal elsewhere, such as in the actors, or the beauty of each scene.

Speaking of beauty, Michael Mann and his crew did an excellent job of making each and every scene just exquisite. Whether its a scene with action, actors and dialogue, supercars racing on the street, or racing boats cruising at top speed in open water, they all look fantastic. They really know how to make something good look even better.

The music in the film is well done. I'm sure Mann was trying to keep with the formula that made Vice successful in the first place: the MTV style. Back in the day, it was Jan Hammer's opening theme, and background music by various hit bands that made the TV series so popular. Mann did a decent job of compiling a good soundtrack and inserting those tracks at the right moments in the film. Two disappointments: 1) Jan Hammer was not invited to do a track or two, 2) Mann made no effort to recreate the most famous scene from the TV series, despite putting a modern cover of the Phil Colins song, that was integral to that scene, in the end credits. Missed opportunities.

Perhaps what I enjoyed the most was that it was a darker, higher budget version of the 80s TV series. Not only did it bring back memories, but the movie did an even better job of portraying how slick Vice was. I feel I've said enough. If you go see this movie, watch it for what it is, and perhaps you'll enjoy it too.